The 500 - #110 - Loaded - The Velvet Underground

I was inspired by a podcast called The 500 hosted by New York-based comedian Josh Adam Meyers. His goal, and mine, is to explore Rolling Stone Magazine's 2012 edition of The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

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Album: #110
Album Title: Loaded
Artist: The Velvet Underground
Genre: Rock, Pop, Proto Punk
Recorded: Atlantic Studios, New York, USA

Released: November, 1970
My age at release: 5
How familiar was I with it before this week: A couple of songs
Is it on the 2020 list? Yes, at #242, dropping 132 spots

Song I am putting on my Spotify Playlist: Sweet Jane

As a teen, I became an avid record shopper. I worked part-time jobs from the age of 14 and always set aside money for my weekend trips downtown to the record stores, especially the used bins at Dr. Disc. Discovering music felt like a pursuit, almost a sport.

Teenage friendships are always a little competitive. We wanted to win at sports, board games, cards, and, perhaps most importantly, we wanted to be the first to uncover a new band. There was real status in putting a record on the turntable at a house party and having it win over the room. It was also humbling to put one on and have someone else switch it off mid-song because the crowd had deemed it lame.

A house party from the 1980s - from the internet, but perfectly
reminiscent of the ones I attended.

With that realization came something stranger -- possessiveness. We wanted the bands we had discovered to succeed...but not too much. We wanted our “finds’ to remain reachable by playing at small, intimate venues, and drifting into the pub next door after a concert to mingle with the crowd. In some unspoken way, we wanted them to remain ours, our special thing, shared only among those who were "in the know".

Marillion, a band I discovered in 1983 was one of those
bands I wanted to keep within my circle of friends.

When a new record from one of “your” bands hit the shelves, it usually came with a complication. A single might slip onto the radio, or a video would start popping up on MuchMusic (Canada's version of MTV). Of course, you were happy to have new material and you wanted the record to sell well enough to keep the band afloat and fund another tour. But what you didn’t want was a hit. Not a real one.

In 1985, Marillion had its first bona-fide hit with Kayleigh.
I was excited for them, but also worried it meant mainstream popularity.

Nothing triggered indignation faster than seeing that music escape your circle. If someone from another clique, one with, in our estimation, terrible taste, suddenly showed up wearing that band’s T‑shirt, it felt like a violation. The voice in your head would scream "Poser!", "Tourist!", "Bandwagon Jumper!" You’d known about this band for years. You’d earned the knowledge that only comes from discovering a rare EP in a dusty record shop or late‑night listens dissecting the lyrics from one of their deepest cuts. Their sudden popularity in the commercial world didn’t feel like success; it felt like theft.

Loaded, the fourth studio release from The Velvet Underground, was conceived as an album full of hits. The band, already close to fracturing, and effectively doing so after the record came out, had been pushed by Atlantic Records to write songs with clear commercial potential. The title works on multiple levels. It is a nod to the slang term (loaded) for intoxication on alcohol or drugs, and a more literal raison d’etre...deliver an album "loaded" with songs that might top the charts.

The Velvet Underground in 1970. (l-r) Doug Yule, Lou Reed,
Sterling Morrison and Maureen (Moe) Tucker.

It didn’t succeed, at least not in the way Atlantic Records had hoped. None of the three singles released from Loaded managed to crack the Top 40. What the band did create, however, was an enormously enjoyable pop record and one that moves easily and pleasantly through multiple genres. It has also steadily grown in stature over time. In retrospect, Loaded sounds less like a failed bid for commercial relevance and more like a quiet triumph, its reputation solidified by the acclaim of critics and its high placement (#110) on Rolling Stone Magazine’s 500 Greatest Albums of All Time 2012 list.

Musically, Loaded casts a wide net and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to it repeatedly in preparation for this blog post. The album moves comfortably between straightforward rock and roll and gentler pop, drawing heavily on early‑'60s radio sounds that Lou Reed, the band’s primary vocalist and leader, clearly absorbed as a listener long before he became a songwriter. There are traces of garage rock in the lean guitar work, folk‑rock in the conversational vocals, simple chord progressions, and even a touch of country and soul in the album’s looser rhythms and warm harmonies. Unlike earlier Velvet Underground records, which often leaned into confrontation or abstraction, Loaded feels grounded in familiar genres. It’s an album that sounds intentionally approachable, as if the Velvet Underground were testing how close they could move toward the mainstream while still sounding unmistakably like themselves.

Lou Reed played his final show with the Velvet Underground on
August 23, 1970 - before Loaded was released.

So, I can’t help but wonder if there was a teenager like me in 1970. Someone who had discovered The Velvet Underground with their 1967 debut (#13 on The 500), who had grown alongside them through White Light/White Heat (#293) and the self‑titled third record (#316). When that imaginary teen first heard the pop sensibilities creeping into Loaded, did he/she worry that tourists and poseurs and bandwagon jumpers from high school were about to start sporting Velvet Underground T‑shirts, absent‑mindedly humming the melody to Sweet Jane? I want that Velvet fan to know something: You’re not alone. The 1985 version of me feels your pain.

The 500 - #128 - Raw Power - Iggy And The Stooges

I was inspired by a podcast called The 500 hosted by New York-based comedian Josh Adam Meyers. His goal, and mine, is to explore Rolling Stone Magazine's 2012 edition of The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

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Album: #128
Album Title: Raw Power
Artist: The Stooges
Genre: Proto Punk, Hard Rock, Garage Rock
Recorded: CBS Studios, London, England
Released: February, 1973
My age at release: 7
How familiar was I with it before this week: One Song
Is it on the 2020 list? No
Song I am putting on my Spotify Playlist: Search and Destroy

Although I’m on a two-week winter break, I’m still focused on report card writing. If I don’t start now, January will hit like a freight train.  Elementary school volleyball season, several social obligations and publishing this blog will collide with lesson prep, report card delivery and everything else that makes the first month of the year a whirlwind of deadlines and distractions.

Despite all of this, I’m excited to bring back to the classroom an old favorite activity: CNN10. Each weekday, network host Coy Wire, a former Buffalo Bills player with infectious energy, delivers a 10-minute recap of current events. It’s quick, digestible, and engaging – the perfect way to help my middle school students think beyond four walls and connect to the wider world using their critical thinking and listening skills.

Coy Wire presenting the news on CNN 10.

I teach several literacy and social studies activities that are enhanced by the short and snappy CNN program. Moreso, I connect with a colleague at another school, Chris Wilson, who creates a current events-based trivia game based on CNN10 via a program called Kahoot! that lightens up Friday classes.

Using CNN 10 reminds me of the first time I paid attention to the news. I was about eight years old and my parents had CBC Radio on constantly. The evening news program As It Happens was a staple, often playing as we ate dinner. The voice of host Barbara Frum became as familiar as family and her recap of Canadian and world events made me feel tuned in.

It was as if I had discovered a secret window into the world of adults. Most of the headlines flew past me, but I remember the word "impeachment" tickling my brain because it sounded like a cocktail of "peach" and "mint". soon deciphered it had nothing to do with either.

Promotional poster for CBC's As It Happens (circa 1974)

Watergate was everywhere. Nixon, in my mind, was like a comic book villain. He was shadowy, scheming and, with his rubbery face and jowl-wagging delivery, larger than life. He was the kind of character who could have stepped out of the panels of a Batman or Superman monthly. The grown-ups whispered about scandals while the radio hummed with tension, and even as a kid, I could feel something cracking at the edges. I  later recognized that the optimism of the 1960s was gone; the air was heavy with mistrust and exhaustion.

That sensation of a country fraying feels like the same energy The Stooges bottled in Raw Power. It wasn’t polished or polite. The four-piece garage band from Ann Arbor, Michigan, had created something that was jagged, feral and loud. It was the sound of a world coming apart at the seams, and lead vocalist Iggy Pop didn’t just sing songs, he detonated them.

Iggy Pop performing (circa 1974)

Raw Power is the third record by The Stooges on The 500 list. I wrote about their self-titled debut (#185) in November, 2024, and their second record, Fun House (#191), a month earlier. In each post, I recap their formation and the development of their sound, as they moved from minimalist hypnotic and psychedelic grooves to a more aggressive and chaotic proto-punk sound.

Shortly after the release of Fun House, the band was on hiatus. Three of the four members, including Pop, had become serious heroin users and, in 1972, they had relocated to England in an attempt to reconstitute the group. Their new line-up, now dubbed Iggy and The Stooges, featured Pop on vocals, James Williamson on guitars, with brothers Ron and Scott Asheton on bass and drums respectively.

The Stooges (1974) (l-r) Williamson, Pop, R. Asheton & S. Asheton

The record was produced by David Bowie, who was also helping Pop recover from his heroin addiction. It sold rather poorly on release, with many critics complaining that Bowie had mixed it poorly. However, the album’s raw and rough sound gained in popularity among the earliest pioneers of punk rock, a genre which exploded in 1976.

Listening now, one can recognize its intensity. It is as if the guitars were tearing through the fabric of the era, shredding the last remnants of peace-and-love idealism and spitting out something raw, honest and dangerous. As Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong said when inducting the group into The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame in 2010: "They symbolized the destruction of Flower Power and introduced us to raw power".

Pop (left) with Bowie (1974).

If history doesn't repeat, it does echo. We’re living through an era of deep political divides and alarming international tensions. Who can guess at how the future will unfold?  I can already see some of my students starting to tune into the world beyond their own circles, the same way I did back in the early ’70s. That awareness often leads to something bigger and I am sure that some of them will seek clarification of the mayhem we are living through. I think our daily 10 minute check-ins with Coy Wire and the team at CNN10 will help facilitate that.

They might, for instance,  discover a musician or band that rises above today’s cacophony and uncertainty, and bring a new era in music that reflects how we got through the current upheaval. Honestly, I can’t wait to look back a decade from now and ask: Who gave us the 2020s version of Raw Power, a record that didn’t just play the times, but ripped them wide open?

Kendrick Lamar? Run The Jewels? Childish Gambino? Fontaines D.C.? or someone currently writing their debut record?

Not me for sure. I'm too old for tearing up stages or reinventing genres...beside, I have to get back to report cards.

The 500 - #130 - Marquee Moon - Television

I was inspired by a podcast called The 500 hosted by New York-based comedian Josh Adam Meyers. His goal, and mine, is to explore Rolling Stone Magazine's 2012 edition of The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

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Album: #130
Album Title: Marquee Moon
Artist: Television
Genre: Art Punk, Rock, New Wave, Garage Rock
Recorded: A & R Recording Studios, New York City, New York
Released: February, 1977
My age at release: 11
How familiar was I with it before this week: Not at all
Is it on the 2020 list? Yes, at #107, rising 23 spots
Song I am putting on my Spotify Playlist: Marquee Moon

Back in January, 2019, when I committed to this long, winding blogging journey through Rolling Stone magazine's The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, I did what any curious music lover would do: I skimmed through the entire list to see whether some of my personal favourites had earned a place, and I was especially eager to find out what cracked the Top 20.

As I made my way through the rankings, I felt a spark of excitement each time I spotted a beloved record. There was Rage Against the Machine’s explosive debut and Peter Gabriel’s visionary record, So. Then. I spotted Elton John’s lavish, autobiographical masterpiece, Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, and the genre-bending, theatrical opulence of A Night At The Opera from Queen. So eager was I to work through the list that many of these future blog posts were mapped out in my head months in advance.

Album jackets for four of my favourite records on The 500 list.

However, just as thrilling were the albums I didn’t know -- the ones that were destined to become new obsessions. These included Look-Ka Py Py by The Meters, The Magnetic Fields’ 69 Love Songs, Manu Chao’s Próxima Estación: Esperanza, and Stankonia from OutKast. These four musical revelations, as well as many others, regularly earn a spot on my weekend playlists.

Album jackets for four, of many, new records I have discovered.

And then there was Marquee Moon, the debut album from Television, legends of the 1970s New York rock scene. Its reputation loomed large, and it had been sitting on my “I really should listen to this” list for years. Somehow, I let opportunities slip by. Last week, I seized the chance, and it delivered in spades. Marquee Moon not only lived up to its towering legacy; it reminded me exactly why I started this project in the first place.

Television are (l-r) Billy Ficca, Richard Lloyd, Tom Verlaine & Fred Smith

Back in 1973, two high school chums from Delaware, Tom Verlaine and Richard Hell, landed in New York City with big dreams and a couple of guitars. Before Television, they were a proto-punk/garage rock band called The Neon Boys, featuring Verlaine on vocals and guitar, Hell on bass, and Billy Ficca pounding the drums.

Album jacket for a single's release by The Neon Boys.

In March, 1973, guitarist Richard Lloyd was added and with him came the name Television, which I've recently learned was a nifty pun on the phrase "tell a vision". The group played their first gig as Television at The Townhouse Theatre, an 88-seat venue in midtown Manhattan. By 1975, Hell was out of the group and Fred Smith replaced him on bass. The group had secured a residency at the famed Bowery dive bar, CBGB's where they performed multiple sets, several nights a week, sharing the stage with other rising acts (also on The 500 list) including Patti Smith (#44), Blondie (#140), The New York Dolls (#215) The Modern Lovers (#381).

On stage at CBGB's Club in the Bowery area of Manhattan.

It is difficult to summarize Television's sound. They are often dubbed a garage band or post punk act. However, those descriptions are limited.  Unlike the blunt-force punk sound that was exploding  around them, Television played with more precision, favouring clean tones, intricate interplay, and a touch of jazz cool. It has been described as 'punk in attitude, but not in sound'. Verlaine and Lloyd didn’t just play riffs, they wove musical phrases like a conversation. Instead of power chords and distortion, they used clean tones, intricate voicings, and melodic tension, creating something radically different.

Verlaine, Lloyd and Smith on stage creating their signature guitar sound.

Marquee Moon landed like a lightning strike and was applauded by critics and revered by musicians. It was eight tracks of angular beauty that rewrote the rules for what a guitar band could be. The ten-minute title track absolutely wowed me and I couldn't wait to share it with my wife on our weekend drive to the cottage. At a time when many bands were chasing speed and aggression on their guitars, Verlaine and Lloyd were exploring clarity and, like jazz musicians before them, the spaces in between the notes.

Album jacket for Television's second release, Adventure.

Television lasted for only one more year, disbanding over creative differences in 1978 following the release of their second record, Adventure. They reunited in 1991 for a third, self-titled release. This reconnection was short lived, but their influence and impact were already monumental. Legendary acts scattered across The 500 list cite Television as an influence including REM, Sonic Youth, The Strokes, Echo and The Bunnymen, The Pixies, U2, Wilco, Joy Division and The Red Hot Chili Peppers. In the end, they truly "told a vision", and the world perked up and listened. I sure did.

The 500 - #185 - Self Titled Debut - The Stooges

I was inspired by a podcast called The 500 hosted by Los Angeles-based comedian Josh Adam Meyers. His goal, and mine, is to explore Rolling Stone Magazine's 2012 edition of The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. 

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Album: #185
Album Title: Self-titled Debut
Artist: The Stooges

Genre: Proto-Punk, Garage Rock, Rock, Experimental

Recorded: The Hit Factory, New York City, New York

Released: August, 1969
My age at release: 4
How familiar was I with it before this week: A little

Is it on the 2020 list? No
Song I am putting on my Spotify Playlist: Be Your Dog

Growing up, I genuinely thought I could do anything with my life. My career aspirations changed regularly. During my adolescence, I wanted, and thought, I could be, a professional hockey player, a writer, an actor, a teacher, a psychologist, a musician, and even an Anglican minister. I have my parents to thank for my ebullient optimism and prodigious confidence. Not once did either balk at the grand designs I had for my adulthood.

Me at age 11, positively brimming
with confidence and epic ambition.

Iggy Pop (born James Newell Osterberg Jr.) had the same good fortune as I did. Raised in Ypsilanti, Michigan, his parents were high school teachers who supported his every passion, particularly his love of music. They saved so that he could purchase a drum kit when he was in the fifth grade. The family was not wealthy and the Osterbergs lived in a mobile home in a trailer park. However, as Iggy put it in a 2007 Rolling Stone Magazine interview, he was rich beyond measure:

"Once I hit junior high in Ann Arbor, I began going to school with the son of the president of Ford Motor Company, with kids of wealth and distinction. But I had a wealth that beat them all. I had the tremendous investment my parents made in me. I got a lot of care. They helped me explore anything I was interested in. This culminated in their evacuation from the master bedroom in the trailer, because that was the only room big enough for my drum kit. They gave me their bedroom."

Osterberg's music career began in high school and he performed with a variety of bands, including one named The Iguanas. It was this connection that earned him the nickname "Iggy". After dropping out of The University of Michigan, Iggy travelled to Chicago to play in more bands and learn about the blues. Upon returning to Michigan, Iggy decided to put his drum sticks down for a microphone. As he put it, "I got tired of looking out from behind a bunch of butts every night." In 1967, he formed The Psychedelic Stooges taking inspiration from the blues and the experimental and garage rock bands of the era, such as The Sonics, MC5, and The Doors (the latter two groups having, collectively, five records on The 500.) The MC5 (Motor City Five) were at The Stooges’ first gig, a Halloween Party in Detroit in 1968. Impressed, MC5 invited the band to open for them the next year in New York City, shortly after the release of this week’s self-titled debut record.

Flyer advertising the
1969 NYC concert featuring
MC5 and The Stooges.

This is the second of three records by The Stooges on The 500 list. I wrote about #191, Fun House, a few weeks ago; their 1973 record, Raw Power, appears at #128. The first line-up of the band comprised Iggy Pop; brothers Dave (guitar) and Scott Asheton (drums); and Dave Alexander (bass). It was the last three musicians who gave Iggy the surname "Pop" after a Detroit local called Dave Popp whom they thought Iggy looked like after Iggy shaved his eyebrows for a gig. However, on the debut record, he is billed by another pseudonym, Iggy Stooge.

Iggy (centre) on stage with The Stooges. (l-r), Alexander, S. Asheton, 
Pop, and D Asheton.

Earlier this week, I was chatting about this Stooges' record with Various Artists, a friend and former guest writer on The 500 Blog. We agreed that it is an enjoyable debut, with some terrific songs and one unlistenable track -- the strange, experimental 10-minute "psychedelic" opus called We Will Fall. Rolling Stone Magazine writer Edmund O. Ward called the piece "a ten-minute exercise in boredom that ruins the first side of the record."

Various Artists let me know that We Will Fall was necessitated because the band only had "about 15 minutes worth of material" when the opportunity to record in New York arrived. Consequently, they wrote three new compositions over the five days they were in The Hit Factory studios. The other two tracks, Real Cool Time and Not Right were also quickly cobbled together through improvisational jam sessions.

The Hit Factory studios when it was located on 54th street. It
has been located in six New York locations over 55 years.

I'll admit, I started skipping We Will Fall after my first two listens to the entire record. However, its presence made me respect Iggy even more. The confidence his parents instilled in him has shone throughout his career. He has been a risk-taker and innovator who dares to try new things. He "swings for the fences" with his artistic endevours and seems unruffled in the face of adversity.  Still performing, shirtless and energetically at the age of 77, Iggy has earned the accolades afforded him and the legendary moniker, "The Godfather of Punk Rock".

Oh, and as for my long ago ambitions – I became a school teacher, act in amateur theatre, noodle about on a few instruments and still play old timers hockey. Oh yea…and I write this weekly blog. So, I got a few of those boxes ticked.

The 500 - #215 - Self-Titled Debut - New York Dolls

I was inspired by a podcast called The 500 hosted by Los Angeles-based comedian Josh Adam Meyers. His goal, and mine, is to explore Rolling Stone Magazine's 2012 edition of The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. 

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Album: #215
Album Title: Self-Titled Debut
Artist: New York Dolls
Genre: Hard Rock, Proto-Punk, Punk Rock, Glam Rock
Recorded: The Record Plant, New York City

Released:  July, 1973
My age at release: 8
How familiar was I with it before this week: A little

Is it on the 2020 list? Yes, at #301, dropping 76 places
Song I am putting on my Spotify Playlist: Jet Boy

A significant portion of the North American population, particularly those on the political right, are expressing outrage and concern about drag performances. Drag Queen Storytimes (events which parents must provide permission allowing their children to attend) are being targeted by far-right, neo-fascist paramilitary groups, including the Proud Boys, who seek to intimidate participants and promoters with threats of violence. This climate of hostility befuddles me. Drag  performances have been a part of my life since childhood. I always found them funny and if the intention was to "groom me" -- it failed miserably.

Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Tom Hanks, Jamie Farr
and Bugs Bunny were comfortable with drag performances.

The term drag, typically, refers to men cross-dressing, often in loud, exaggerated feminine clothing -- accented with garish, make-up and wigs. Drag performances are intended to be entertaining and are regularly punctuated with music, comedic routines, social satire or political commentary.

Australian comedian Barry Humphries performing in drag as
his alter-ego Dame Edna - with Jay Leno (The Tonight Show).

The history of drag goes back centuries. It was part of folk performances, including mummers’ plays -- 13th century dramatic productions put on by amateur community players. The tradition spread to English-speaking colonies and continues today with annual Mummers’ Parades in many major cities -- the largest being held in Philadelphia nearly every New Year's Day since 1901... and, yes, children have always attended.

In fact, my dad remembers his father and uncles disappearing upstairs during parties to swap into women’s clothing, then returning to perform a song and dance routine. “It must be something peculiar to English men,” he says of the accepted practice. "Much like children 'dressing down' on New Year’s Eve as penniless urchins with soot-covered faces. They stormed into pubs pretending to clean-up and were tossed coins for their efforts by laughing patrons."

Philadelphia Mummer's Parade drag performers.

The first time I saw the album cover for The New York Dolls debut record, I was standing in Dr. Disc, a London, Ontario, record store that I visited weekly. Located on Clarence Street, Dr. Disc was a London landmark throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s. As a teen and young adult, I spent hours perusing the massive bins of new and used vinyl and, eventually, CDs.

Dr. Disc (circa 1985). Next door is The Silver Ball, an arcade that
I helped finance - 25 cents at a time.

The cover of The New York Dolls caught my attention immediately. It features a black and white photograph of all five members of the band crammed together on a couch. Each is shown dressed in drag, complete with gigantic wigs, garish make-up, platform shoes and even a pair of roller skates. The original members were, David Johansen (vocals, harmonica); Arthur "Killer" Kane (bass guitar); Jerry Nolan (drums); Sylvain Sylvain (piano, guitar, vocals); and Johnny Thunders (lead guitars, vocals). The band's name appeared in the top left corner -- artistically depicted to seem as if it had been hurriedly scrawled in lipstick.

New York Dolls debut record. (l-r) Kane, Sylvain, Johansen,
Thunders and Nolan.

I didn't purchase The Dolls’ record that day. As a high-school student, my funds were limited and the teenage demands of arcade games, submarine sandwiches, French fries and movie tickets kept my record purchases in check. Regardless, I do remember mentally registering the band under the "maybe another day" file. However, I do recall enjoying a chuckle as I walked away from it.

A typical 80s arcade. The Galaga game (pictured right) likely
depleted my bank account by $10 weekly throughout the early '80s.

That's the thing about drag. I've always found it funny. My first exposure likely came during my adolescence when watching reruns of Monty Python's Flying Circus. The Python troupe frequently performed in drag and one of my favourite sketches featured writing partners John Cleese and Graham Chapman as middle-aged, working class women – Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion. The increasingly absurd sketch begins in a laundromat as the pair discuss the challenges of burying a living cat and the best way to put down a budgie.

Cleese (left) as Mrs. Premise and Chapman as Mrs. Conclusion.

The duo eventually end up in a philosophical debate about freedom that concludes with a trip to Paris to visit the home of French philosopher Jean-Paul Satre in order to settle their dispute about the meaning behind his Roads To Freedom (Les chemins de la liberté) trilogy. The sketch can be seen in its entirety here.

Premise and Conclusion (Cleese & Chapman) crossing the 
channel to confer with Jean-Paul Satre in Paris.

My friend Don and I liked these characters so much that, in 1983, we co-opted them for a series of commercials on the televised announcements at our high-school -- broadcast each Wednesday morning.  At the time, I was part of the Saunders Secondary School Concert Band and, as a senior, we each had to take on a job for the music department. Conductor and teacher Mr. Gwyn Beynon assigned me to the promotions team.

Former Saunders Music Teacher and Conductor, Gwyn Beynon.
Recipient of the Golden Baton Award and on the Western University
Alumni Wall of Fame.

In order to underwrite the band's trip to Boston in the spring we sold boxes of oranges and grapefruit to our families and the community. This was done through pre-sales and to encourage students to take home order forms, Don and I appeared on the school's closed circuit broadcast in drag -- adopting falsetto British female accents (in the Python-style) as we provided details about the promotion.

In one sketch, my "Mrs. Conclusion" repeatedly mishears the word grapefruit, thinking it is flake-fruit, ape-fruit and rape-fruit (a poor teenage attempt at humour I regret).

Mrs. Conclusion: "Why would you want a fruit that molests you?!"

Frustrated, Don's Mrs. Premise reached into his top to produce a grapefruit from inside the bra he was wearing -- borrowed from his mother. 

Mrs. Premise: "Grapefruit! grapefruit! You daft woman -- these bloody things!"

Abruptly storming off the set we targeted unsuspecting classes -- interrupting lessons in an effort to pitch our sales catalogues.

Saunders Secondary School in London, Ontario.

The New York Dolls, much like my high school efforts at comedy, were often misunderstood. They enjoyed limited commercial and critical success. When they released their debut record in 1973, they managed to be voted both the best and worst band in Creem Magazine's annual readers’ poll. They released only two records before disbanding in 1975. There was a reunion in the 2000s, along with more records, but their proto-punk, drag experiment came to an end. 

The Dolls in a promotional photo for Creem Magazine.

However, their impact would be felt for years to come and the group is cited as a significant influence by artists with multiple albums on The 500 list. Paul Stanley of KISS (Albums #489 and #159) says his theatrical stage performances were informed after seeing Dolls’ singer Johansen perform in a New York tavern. 

The group KISS, looking Doll-esque, before they
donned their trademark make-up.

Other artists who celebrate the impact of The Dolls include: The Ramones (#33 & #106), The Smiths (#473, #369, #296 & #218), The White Stripes (#497 & #390), Guns ‘N Roses (#62), Green Day (#225 & #193) and Sex Pistols (#41).

Out of drag, The Dolls pose with record producer,
the legendary Todd Rundgren (3rd from right).

Getting a chance to listen to the Dolls’ debut record many times as I prepared for this post was a treat. I regret not picking it up that day many years ago. That was one of those situations when I should have judged a book by its cover. It is high-energy, raunchy and raw-sounding – and punctuated with campy comedy and song titles that include Personality Crisis, Vietnamese Baby, Trash, Bad Girl and, my favourite, Jet Boy.

Cover for the single release of Jet Boy and
B-side Vietnamese Baby.

I still remain flummoxed by the anger generated by drag performers and shows. With their over-the-top gaudy make-up and ridiculous outfits, how can anyone consider them anything but funny. And don't even get me started on their ridiculously silly, but clever, pseudonyms, such as Dixie Normous, Betty Bitchslap, Sham Payne and Amanda Porq.

Much like Python, there is the stuff I laughed about as an adolescent -- John Cleese performing his trademark "silly walk". Then, as I aged, I better understood the satire on bureaucratic inefficiency embodied in the entire premise of "A Ministry of Silly Walks" existing in proper British society. I think kids process a drag queen the same way -- in simple terms.

I am sure  children are more intimidated by the angry Proud Boys outside a Drag Queen Story Hour than they are by the funny looking lady who reads them a book with affected silly voices.

Proud Boys marching to protest a Drag Queen Story Hour
juxtaposed against the event that creates their ire.