The 500 - #215 - Self-Titled Debut - New York Dolls

I was inspired by a podcast called The 500 hosted by Los Angeles-based comedian Josh Adam Meyers. His goal, and mine, is to explore Rolling Stone Magazine's 2012 edition of The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. 

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Album: #215
Album Title: Self-Titled Debut
Artist: New York Dolls
Genre: Hard Rock, Proto-Punk, Punk Rock, Glam Rock
Recorded: The Record Plant, New York City

Released:  July, 1973
My age at release: 8
How familiar was I with it before this week: A little

Is it on the 2020 list? Yes, at #301, dropping 76 places
Song I am putting on my Spotify Playlist: Jet Boy

A significant portion of the North American population, particularly those on the political right, are expressing outrage and concern about drag performances. Drag Queen Storytimes (events which parents must provide permission allowing their children to attend) are being targeted by far-right, neo-fascist paramilitary groups, including the Proud Boys, who seek to intimidate participants and promoters with threats of violence. This climate of hostility befuddles me. Drag  performances have been a part of my life since childhood. I always found them funny and if the intention was to "groom me" -- it failed miserably.

Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Tom Hanks, Jamie Farr
and Bugs Bunny were comfortable with drag performances.

The term drag, typically, refers to men cross-dressing, often in loud, exaggerated feminine clothing -- accented with garish, make-up and wigs. Drag performances are intended to be entertaining and are regularly punctuated with music, comedic routines, social satire or political commentary.

Australian comedian Barry Humphries performing in drag as
his alter-ego Dame Edna - with Jay Leno (The Tonight Show).

The history of drag goes back centuries. It was part of folk performances, including mummers’ plays -- 13th century dramatic productions put on by amateur community players. The tradition spread to English-speaking colonies and continues today with annual Mummers’ Parades in many major cities -- the largest being held in Philadelphia nearly every New Year's Day since 1901... and, yes, children have always attended.

In fact, my dad remembers his father and uncles disappearing upstairs during parties to swap into women’s clothing, then returning to perform a song and dance routine. “It must be something peculiar to English men,” he says of the accepted practice. "Much like children 'dressing down' on New Year’s Eve as penniless urchins with soot-covered faces. They stormed into pubs pretending to clean-up and were tossed coins for their efforts by laughing patrons."

Philadelphia Mummer's Parade drag performers.

The first time I saw the album cover for The New York Dolls debut record, I was standing in Dr. Disc, a London, Ontario, record store that I visited weekly. Located on Clarence Street, Dr. Disc was a London landmark throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s. As a teen and young adult, I spent hours perusing the massive bins of new and used vinyl and, eventually, CDs.

Dr. Disc (circa 1985). Next door is The Silver Ball, an arcade that
I helped finance - 25 cents at a time.

The cover of The New York Dolls caught my attention immediately. It features a black and white photograph of all five members of the band crammed together on a couch. Each is shown dressed in drag, complete with gigantic wigs, garish make-up, platform shoes and even a pair of roller skates. The original members were, David Johansen (vocals, harmonica); Arthur "Killer" Kane (bass guitar); Jerry Nolan (drums); Sylvain Sylvain (piano, guitar, vocals); and Johnny Thunders (lead guitars, vocals). The band's name appeared in the top left corner -- artistically depicted to seem as if it had been hurriedly scrawled in lipstick.

New York Dolls debut record. (l-r) Kane, Sylvain, Johansen,
Thunders and Nolan.

I didn't purchase The Dolls’ record that day. As a high-school student, my funds were limited and the teenage demands of arcade games, submarine sandwiches, French fries and movie tickets kept my record purchases in check. Regardless, I do remember mentally registering the band under the "maybe another day" file. However, I do recall enjoying a chuckle as I walked away from it.

A typical 80s arcade. The Galaga game (pictured right) likely
depleted my bank account by $10 weekly throughout the early '80s.

That's the thing about drag. I've always found it funny. My first exposure likely came during my adolescence when watching reruns of Monty Python's Flying Circus. The Python troupe frequently performed in drag and one of my favourite sketches featured writing partners John Cleese and Graham Chapman as middle-aged, working class women – Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion. The increasingly absurd sketch begins in a laundromat as the pair discuss the challenges of burying a living cat and the best way to put down a budgie.

Cleese (left) as Mrs. Premise and Chapman as Mrs. Conclusion.

The duo eventually end up in a philosophical debate about freedom that concludes with a trip to Paris to visit the home of French philosopher Jean-Paul Satre in order to settle their dispute about the meaning behind his Roads To Freedom (Les chemins de la liberté) trilogy. The sketch can be seen in its entirety here.

Premise and Conclusion (Cleese & Chapman) crossing the 
channel to confer with Jean-Paul Satre in Paris.

My friend Don and I liked these characters so much that, in 1983, we co-opted them for a series of commercials on the televised announcements at our high-school -- broadcast each Wednesday morning.  At the time, I was part of the Saunders Secondary School Concert Band and, as a senior, we each had to take on a job for the music department. Conductor and teacher Mr. Gwyn Beynon assigned me to the promotions team.

Former Saunders Music Teacher and Conductor, Gwyn Beynon.
Recipient of the Golden Baton Award and on the Western University
Alumni Wall of Fame.

In order to underwrite the band's trip to Boston in the spring we sold boxes of oranges and grapefruit to our families and the community. This was done through pre-sales and to encourage students to take home order forms, Don and I appeared on the school's closed circuit broadcast in drag -- adopting falsetto British female accents (in the Python-style) as we provided details about the promotion.

In one sketch, my "Mrs. Conclusion" repeatedly mishears the word grapefruit, thinking it is flake-fruit, ape-fruit and rape-fruit (a poor teenage attempt at humour I regret).

Mrs. Conclusion: "Why would you want a fruit that molests you?!"

Frustrated, Don's Mrs. Premise reached into his top to produce a grapefruit from inside the bra he was wearing -- borrowed from his mother. 

Mrs. Premise: "Grapefruit! grapefruit! You daft woman -- these bloody things!"

Abruptly storming off the set we targeted unsuspecting classes -- interrupting lessons in an effort to pitch our sales catalogues.

Saunders Secondary School in London, Ontario.

The New York Dolls, much like my high school efforts at comedy, were often misunderstood. They enjoyed limited commercial and critical success. When they released their debut record in 1973, they managed to be voted both the best and worst band in Creem Magazine's annual readers’ poll. They released only two records before disbanding in 1975. There was a reunion in the 2000s, along with more records, but their proto-punk, drag experiment came to an end. 

The Dolls in a promotional photo for Creem Magazine.

However, their impact would be felt for years to come and the group is cited as a significant influence by artists with multiple albums on The 500 list. Paul Stanley of KISS (Albums #489 and #159) says his theatrical stage performances were informed after seeing Dolls’ singer Johansen perform in a New York tavern. 

The group KISS, looking Doll-esque, before they
donned their trademark make-up.

Other artists who celebrate the impact of The Dolls include: The Ramones (#33 & #106), The Smiths (#473, #369, #296 & #218), The White Stripes (#497 & #390), Guns ‘N Roses (#62), Green Day (#225 & #193) and Sex Pistols (#41).

Out of drag, The Dolls pose with record producer,
the legendary Todd Rundgren (3rd from right).

Getting a chance to listen to the Dolls’ debut record many times as I prepared for this post was a treat. I regret not picking it up that day many years ago. That was one of those situations when I should have judged a book by its cover. It is high-energy, raunchy and raw-sounding – and punctuated with campy comedy and song titles that include Personality Crisis, Vietnamese Baby, Trash, Bad Girl and, my favourite, Jet Boy.

Cover for the single release of Jet Boy and
B-side Vietnamese Baby.

I still remain flummoxed by the anger generated by drag performers and shows. With their over-the-top gaudy make-up and ridiculous outfits, how can anyone consider them anything but funny. And don't even get me started on their ridiculously silly, but clever, pseudonyms, such as Dixie Normous, Betty Bitchslap, Sham Payne and Amanda Porq.

Much like Python, there is the stuff I laughed about as an adolescent -- John Cleese performing his trademark "silly walk". Then, as I aged, I better understood the satire on bureaucratic inefficiency embodied in the entire premise of "A Ministry of Silly Walks" existing in proper British society. I think kids process a drag queen the same way -- in simple terms.

I am sure  children are more intimidated by the angry Proud Boys outside a Drag Queen Story Hour than they are by the funny looking lady who reads them a book with affected silly voices.

Proud Boys marching to protest a Drag Queen Story Hour
juxtaposed against the event that creates their ire.